The Final Hitch

Ok so I was reading my all posts and I cracked up. Man how immature I was before. It's frustrating but funny at the same time. Gosh, how I miss writing. There are a lot of things i want to say about. Like how tiring and boring life has been, and also how miserable I have been for the past couple of months. Wait, that's an understatement. Past couple of years, yeah more like it. 

I'm 26 now. Just like i rambled in my previous post, I'm not a big fan of adulting. It just gets harder every time, you know? With all the work stress related and quick-tempered desires, I barely managed to survive. But I did and thank God for that. The amount of patience and resilience are definitely impressive. I lowkey feel a bit proud of myself. 

Sometimes I wonder if I'm strong enough to get through this. Although there's not much choice for me except to keep going, I can't help but wonder how long my strength would last. It's exhausting and painful, yet endless and inevitable. Many people don't get everything they want or at least what they need. The process is too much sometimes. What process? To be able to accept things the way they are. Everyone definitely has expectations (whether reasonable or not, it entirely depends on them) and most of the time they will get disappointed at the outcome. But who to blame? If people have less expectations, the aftermaths would not be so bad. 

How to be void of expectations anyway? I mean, I believe there might be people who have zero expectations in life and they might be living the chill-est life ever, but how about the people like me who are stocked up with abundance list of expectations? Is there any way to mitigate the devastation that comes with these ungranted expectations? 

Okay I might have been using the word expectations too much right now. In my defense, my mind is totally foggy and dumb. It's more like I just want to rant everything that is running crazy inside my head. The movie Inside Out was damn spot on, there's so much of emotions inside a person's head. Yoo humans are soooo complex. 

Finally, after writing all these sappy craps, my eyes are now heavier than those 5kgs dumbbells. The meds are kicking in and I better head off to bed. 

Till next time, toodles!